Is it time for young people to embrace loneliness for what it really is?

A recent study from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) found that young people aged 16-24 experience the most loneliness of any age group. 10% of people within the age bracket were found to be “always or often” lonely, a staggering three times higher than those aged 65 and above.

It has been suggested that perhaps older people are less lonely than they are usually perceived to be as they become more resilient with age. This may be true to an extent; young people are encouraged to report feelings of loneliness and seek help and comfort. Perhaps this is down to the fact that loneliness at a young age appears abnormal and something that needs to be repaired, when maybe instead it should be looked at as something that is a rightful emotion and a part of life.

One could feel lonely and be the most sociable person around

To be lonely does not simply mean that you are isolated, left out or physically alone. One could feel lonely and be the most sociable person around. A lot of young people hide their feelings of loneliness by surrounding themselves with others and going having an event in every day of their diary. It is a feeling that can’t be put right with a full calendar alone.

On some level, loneliness at a young age derives from the feeling of never quite having ‘enough’. In a consumerist society where there are so many new versions of gadgets that keep people up to trend, it’s almost too easy to feel isolated by not having the latest new thing that everyone might have. Not only this, but in the ages 16-24, young people are moving from compulsory school to the real world and possibly further education.

When we don’t have one of the hypothetical boxes ticked off, we feel as though we are playing catch up

As we navigate our way into adulthood, young people are made to feel as though there is a checklist, or criteria of things we should mark off as we grow up; this includes the pressures of securing an internship, a part-time job to support ourselves, and academic success. And when we don’t have one of the hypothetical boxes ticked off, we feel as though we are playing catch up with everyone else who seems to have everything in the bag. This feeling of inadequacy and self-condemning can lead to feelings of loneliness when we believe that we are struggling or falling behind the crowd. In fact, it is a widespread feeling.

Due to the competitive culture and comparative nature that is perpetuated through social media, university culture and even television, loneliness is easily generated from feelings of imperfections.

Pressures such as those to be in a relationship as you come out of your teen years make it worse. It’s almost as though because we are young, we are expected to be highly social with a solid group of friends, and a significant other, so it becomes unnatural for a young person to be ‘lonely’ – it’s seen as something to be fixed.

Perhaps we ought to acknowledge feelings of loneliness for what they are, as coming from anxieties about inadequacy

I have felt such pressures, if only to escape the culture today in which you log onto social media and it’s either the first, or the only thing that you see; when you meet your friends and it always comes up in discussion, or when you go home and your family grills you about your love life. The expectations can leave us feeling like we’re either missing something or not doing something right, and in the long run, can surmount to feelings of loneliness.

So, what can be done to combat loneliness in groups of young people when it seems to be a societal problem? The answer, I believe, is found back in the ONS study that highlighted resilience in older people. Perhaps we ought to acknowledge feelings of loneliness for what they are, as coming from anxieties about inadequacy, be it academically, socially, or fashionably. If we can embrace loneliness as something that everyone experiences from time to time, then perhaps we can begin to fight further destructive feelings of being isolated in our individual struggles.