Opening up about my mental health at university

It is hard to understand just how difficult it is to talk about your mental health unless you have experienced this yourself. I started to develop mental health problems as a teenager, but I did not tell anyone. Needless to say, keeping quiet only made things worse, especially when I left for university. After two years of suffering in silence, I reached breaking point.

Talking to loved ones was an important first step for me. They could see how unhappy I was and encouraged me to get help. I was very apprehensive, but thankfully they would not take no for an answer.

I began being more open about my mental health problems with my friends. It helped to remove a huge weight from my shoulders. Sometimes they responded supportively – once, when I told a group of friends how I was feeling, they responded with personal stories of their own struggles. Suddenly, I was no longer alone. Other times, the response was an awkward silence.

I needed someone else to tell me that none of this was my fault and that I did not need to feel guilty for seeking help

I also arranged a meeting with one of my tutors. He could see how distressed I was and encouraged me to use the support services. It was clear to him, though not to myself, that I could not go on like this.

I tried a variety of on-campus support services after that, but they did not suit me. I needed a much stronger intervention. I visited an SU advisor to discuss applying for mitigating circumstances. I felt embarrassed, but she was very kind and understanding of my situation and guided me clearly through the process. I needed someone else to tell me that none of this was my fault and that I did not need to feel guilty for seeking help.

My family eventually signed me up for an assessment with a psychological wellbeing centre, and things rapidly improved from there. Therapy gave me the tools I needed to pull myself out of the darkness. I now regularly keep in touch with my personal tutor, my friends and a counsellor whenever I face difficulties. The reassurance that comes with knowing that these systems are available means that I do not need to use them as often.

It took a lot of trial and error before I found the method that would work best for me

Asking for help is not without its issues. I often had to wait between 2-10 weeks before I could see a professional. It took a lot of trial and error before I found the method that would work best for me. I have also learned to be selective in who I share my problems with, as it can be crushing when people do not react the way you wish them to, which is not necessarily through any fault of their own. I was lucky that the people in my life encouraged me to get help once I admitted that I was not okay. It soon made me realise that the only person who had held me back was me.

Angela Huang

Just over two years ago I was diagnosed with a moderate to severe case of Major Depressive Disorder. Saying this, for me, is no grand coming out. I learnt the hard way that closing myself off from the world and refusing to talk about my condition doesn’t make it any less real or destructive. Without going into too much detail, before university, assistance or even just slight understanding of what I was going through were rarities among friends and school staff generally. Thus, to say I was apprehensive about opening up again would be an understatement. Getting drunk and having a borderline-breakdown to some slightly bemused flatmates on my second night at university wasn’t exactly how I’d planned to start it all.

While a physical ailment is generally visible and reasonably easy to understand, mental illness is much more enigmatic

However, once I’d gained some footing and begun to get to know my new neighbours properly it was remarkable how easy it was to be honest with them. I had been scared of being treated differently; tiptoed around like I was a fine piece of china always at risk of breaking. In reality the whole affair was rather dull: I would tell someone I was clinically depressed and on a prescription for antidepressants, and then they would for the most part treat me the same as they had before. Whilst this didn’t stop me from having delusional moments in which I was convinced of their judgment and hatred, it was certainly better than bottling it all up.

Talking about mental illness, especially to people who haven’t directly experienced it, can be hard. Many just don’t understand. This is through no fault of their own: how can you understand something that is fundamentally illogical? While a physical ailment is, generally, perfectly visible and relatively easy to comprehend, mental illness is much more enigmatic.

Talking doesn’t just allow you to have a support network; it allows you to come to terms with how you are

I wish at this point I could go on about my lovely experience with university or NHS mental health practitioners. I really do; I know these people work hard for their patients. Sadly, at least for me, the experience has been less than enjoyable. After about five or six assessments all of which asked verbatim the same questions, I was eventually entered into the university counselling programme, only to be told I would be better off in the NHS IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapy) programme. After receiving a similar array of questionnaires in IAPT, I was told to expect a long wait to see a therapist. It was dreadfully apparent they were short of the staff needed to cope with the mental health issues of the university students, let alone all of Coventry and Warwickshire. To this day, I remain on their waiting list.

If I have any advice for anyone with similar problems it would be this: openness is key. Whilst it can be tempting to keep things to yourself, the truth is that it doesn’t make your condition any less real. Talking doesn’t just allow you to have a support network; it allows you to come to terms with how you are.

Andrew Kersley

If you are suffering with poor mental health, you can visit the University’s counselling page here. Nightline is also open every night of term between 9pm and 9am– you can ring them or go see someone in person.