I’m A Literary Celebrity

With the latest line-up for I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! recently on our screens, we at Boar Books have wondered how our favourite literary characters would fare in this survival-based reality show, for better or for worse.

Effie Trinket

When you think of I’m a Celeb, you think of dirt, poor hygiene, bugs, and a total lack of luxury – so everything Effie detests. Clearly, she’s no stranger to reality TV, but this one is a whole lot less life-threatening, and a lot more…disgusting. Probably the hardest challenge for Effie would be having to go bare-faced on live television, let alone facing cockroaches and crocodiles! However, if she doesn’t wimp out on the first day and head straight back to the comfort of the Capitol, there is a lot of room for personal growth. Look at Katie Price: she started her series as a glamour model, but proved she had the guts to deal with the challenges (when she wasn’t shacking up with Peter Andre, anyway). While it would be unlikely for her to win, Effie could prove herself in the jungle, just as she did in District 13, and win the public’s hearts.

Neville Longbottom

Neville is the ultimate underdog, and would have real potential to rise up be crowned Jungle King, just like previous winner Christopher Biggins or current contestant Georgia Toffolo. While he may come across as weak and mild at first, Neville comes through when he is needed most, and has many heroic, brave qualities. He already has first-hand experience at dealing with snakes (bye, Nagini!), and even has a pet toad, so clearly wild creatures won’t be an issue for him. Not to mention, his herbology experience would give him many advantages in his natural environment – not that there’d be any Gillyweed lying around.

Mrs Bennet

This one is a personal favourite. Could you imagine the overly controlling Bennet matriarch – the Kris Jenner of the 19^th century – stuck in the depths of the outback? Doubtlessly she’d provide much comic relief with her antics, perhaps similar to the infamous Gillian McKeith, but she would also fail miserably at the challenges, if she ever dared to face one. On the bright side, she could use her opportunity to scout some potential husbands in the camp, for her daughters.

Augustus Gloop

One of the most famous (and disgusting) challenges in I’m a Celeb is the Bushtucker Trial, where the celebrities have to eat anything from Sheep’s anus, to live spiders. It requires a stomach of steel to succeed, which is why Augustus should have no problem doing it. There isn’t a moment in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where he isn’t eating something, which may also be his downfall. Somehow I can’t imagine he’d be too happy with the meagre portion sizes in the camp, or living on a diet of bland rice and beans for days in a row.

Gregor Samsa

Gregor wouldn’t have any issues with bugs, because Gregor is a bug. His propensity for patiently accepting whatever hardships come his way would also come in handy whenever he would be voted to do a trial. However, it would be difficult to keep Gregor in the campsite, and not out in the wide jungle with his insect brethren.