If literary characters were freshers

Mary Francis imagines our favourite fictional characters taking on life at Warwick University…

Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)  

Course: English Literature. Accommodation: Bluebell

Hermione couldn’t be more excited to begin Warwick University; from a young age she’d been twigged as the most intelligent of all the pupils in her school, and she was absolutely ecstatic to be ditching the slow-witted students from her comprehensive for a fast-paced university with like minded people. As her meek parents helped her move into her brand new room in Bluebell, Hermione chatted excitedly about how she has already signed up for nine societies, of which she is already on the executive committees of three. She has her sights set on the President of the SU already, and shoos her parents away as she sets off studying in preparation for her introductory lecture in the morning.

Hermione has already signed up for nine societies, and is on the exec for three

Morning breaks, finding Hermione already sat in the lecture theatre half an hour before the rest of the class turn up, right at the front and ready to tell the lecturers all about the notes she had been going over last night. When the rest of the students arrive they listened respectfully to the lecturers, reproaching Hermione whose hand shot up every time they asked a rhetorical question. However, little was she to know that the foundations on which she had rested her whole world was about to show some cracks…

“What is modernity?” asked the lecturer.

What is modernity? With horror, Hermione realised that she didn’t know the answer. What made it all the worse, was the other keen bean beside her snorted in derision at the mention of the word, as though to signal that this was far beneath their ability. Hermione gasped. She was going to have to pledge a life to the library if she ever hoped to retain her position at the top. No Pop! For Hermione… at least until she meets the university’s top rugby player, then maybe she’ll let him take her to the SU.

Frodo Baggins (Lord of the Rings)

Course: History. Accommodation: Westwood

Frodo is a small town boy, and doesn’t know what a club is. Exhausted after a five hour journey through the countryside, Frodo collapses on his bed in Westwood, relieved to finally be close to people and to all the hubbub of Warwick campus. He couldn’t be more wrong.

That evening, Frodo and some of the Westwood lads began to gear themselves for a proper rowdy night at the Student Union; Frodo is ready to meet some actual people, and marks the occasion with his smartest shirt and chinos. His new best mate, Sam, on the other hand, is sporting a Fresher’s T-Shirt. “Why are you wearing that?” he asks. “Don’t you want to dress up a bit more for our big arrival?” Regardless of outfit choice, the lads set off at 10pm, enraptured with anticipation for the two minute walk to a real club, ready to throw some shapes for the ladies. But the boys forgot they lived in Westwood.

Frodo is ready to meet some actual people, donning his smartest shirt and chinos

And so began the epic journey from Westwood to the Copper Rooms. The lads picked up companions on the way, including a wise fourth year wizard, getting into the odd battle with orcs from other accommodations, and spent many hours journeying to the infamous campus night-club.

“How far can it be?” panted Sam. When they finally arrived, the bouncer admitted Sam and the other lads in immediately, glaring down at Frodo. “You don’t have a Freshers T-Shirt, you can’t enter without one,” the bouncer snapped stubbornly. “So?” said Frodo, trying to elbow his way past the big bouncer. “One does not simply walk into the Copper Rooms.”

Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)

Course: Politics and International Studies. Accommodation: Rootes

When Katniss arrives in Rootes on the first day of university, her flat mates realise that this girl is the definition of ‘edge’, the moodiest and coolest girl that ever was seen. Dressed from head to toe in black, Katniss barely speaks to her flat mates as they neck vodka ready for a night at Pop!, but is already in the far-off land of Leamington getting low to the beats at Boots’N’Cats. Katniss isn’t about that Warwick Bubble life… she wants to go to the big city (Leamington Spa).

When she first came to university, Katniss thought she was too cool for any societies – I mean, she didn’t even go to the societies fair, if you can imagine. Besides, she thought, “what’s fun if it’s organised fun? That’s just oppression!” It is only when she rolls out of bed one afternoon at the end of freshers that Katniss sees a sight that would be branded on her memory for as long as she lived. The former SU President, Luke Pilot (who for some reason hadn’t left Warwick), was standing in the middle of the road, fearless of the dreaded U1 which bore down on him. The traffic had completely ceased to a halt, and a group of hooded individuals flocking around him were chanting “free the students from capitalism!”.

Katniss isn’t about that Warwick Bubble life

“What’s all this for?” she asks the man himself. “We are Warwick For Free Education,” proclaims Luke Pilot. Katniss freezes, attempting to take in the epiphany she had been waiting all of Freshers for – of course education should be free! Tears streaming down her face, for she had never been so moved, Katniss clasps Luke Pilot by the hands and sobbingly pledges her life to the cause.

Katniss’ flat mates never saw her again. Rumour has it she had joined a socialist cult. It was only in their final year, when the posters “Everdeen for Education” plastered around campus, that they realised Katniss was taking her pledge to gain free education for all students to the next level. The revolution was beginning.