Boarsity Clockwatch: Day Three

By Alex Jennings, James Roberts, Matt Richardson
Feb. 25, 2017
Posted in Sport, University Sport, Varsity 2017

21:30: Game won. Varsity won. Hallelujah. A huge congratulations to the men’s hockey team, and indeed all those involved with a tremendous Varsity period for Warwick – and it’s not even Sunday! That’s me done for the clockwatch for this year, it’s been a pleasure.  

21:18: There’s been goals at both ends since I last spoke, and it’s now 7-3! Abuse is hailing down from the furious Cov end at the referee, as Matt and James tell me they try to make themselves inconspicuous. 

21:10: Crikey. ANOTHER Coventry player has been sent off! They’ve lost their heads completely. This is like when Spurs lost the league at Stamford Bridge, so decided to kill Chelsea. 

21:06: So long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen. Goodnight. Coventry’s no. 63 is off after a reckless challenge, sending their fans into rabid fury. 

21:01: Everything’s coming up Milhouse at Westwood. It’s only five-bloody-two Warwick. Yes, you read that right, FIVE. 

20:56: My word. It’s 3-2 Warwick. Delirium. This does not slip now.

Steven Gerrard GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Apologies for the excessive GIF-ing by the way. In-fact, **** it, apologies for everything.

20:50: Yerssss. Cov chants of ‘who the fuck are Warwick uni?’ are silenced by a Warwick equalizer. They never learn.

Sports GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

20:35: Half-time, 2-1 Coventry. Matt says we’re running out of ideas. As someone on their 7th hour of clockwatch in 3 days, I find that feeling hard to empathize with. 

20:30: As we approach half-time, I’m told Warwick are dominating possession, with Coventry restricted to the odd counter, and although we may be a little biased, we’re not quite FAKE NEWS just yet. Hopefully that resolute Cov defence can be breached then, although at this point would yet another Warwick win simply be kicking a uni when its down? 

20:27: We’re still trailing in the hockey I’m sorry to say, but it’s only a goal and there’s more than enough time for the lads to turn things round.

20:14: There was me with my ‘All quiet on the Westwood front’ post ready to go, and James goes and ruins it by telling me that we’re now in-fact 2-1 down; the second goal a great individual effort. 

20:04: And we’re off in the men’s hockey, the final event of the day. And Team Warwick goes 1-0 up with the first attack of the game!

19:42: More exciting Westwood updates, this time from Matt: “If you’re wanting clockwatch material Alex, a man just openly farted next to me at the urinals. There was no shame whatsoever.”

Never let it be said that the clockwatch is anything but high brow.

19:37: I’m sitting in the comfort of the Boar Office, but other Boar Sport representatives are out in the campus wild. It appears that a case of Westwood Cabin Fever is setting in with James, who has tried to crash an octogenarian’s party. “I think Varsity has frazzled me.” You me and both James, you and me both. 

19:23: Full time in the hockey and an “emphatic performance” saw us run out 4-0 winners. There’s exciting chat that we may have officially won Varsity – could it really be so before Sunday? Apparently Warwick Sport think otherwise…

19:15: We may have been defeated in the golf earlier, but can we win the twitter bantz war? 

That was the real quiz, that was the real quiz.

19:10: Good evening everyone. As you may have read earlier, I’ve had a simply amazing day today – and I can’t wait to spend the next 3 hours making light-hearted witticisms. But enough about me, the ladies hockey are now 3 up. And what’s more, Matt says they’re hungry to really drive the nail into the Cov coffin. 

18:56: More sophisticated analysis from Matt, and then I’ll hand over to Alex to see us through to the end of day three:

Warwick penalty SAVED
Remains 1-0
Poor effort if you ask me, no power in the shot
But then I haven’t played hockey since year 4

18:53: Our earlier posts may suggest something different, but we love to see a bit of sportsmanship amidst the expletives and brawls of Varsity. Here Warwick Bears showcase sport at its best:

18:44: Matt says the Hockey hasn’t really come alive, but he’s just bought a great chicken and bacon sandwich. Fair choice, but does it beat by Hummus and tomato number from earlier? Tweet us @BoarSport.

18:39: On the pitch it’s a little more cagey, but at half-time Warwick lead 1-0. Here’s Matt’s summary:

Other than a couple of sloppy moments at the back for Warwick, Cov haven’t posed much of a threat

18:29: “Sum up how much this evening matters in 140 characters”

18:22: You know what, Cov? Maybe it’s you who are “fucking shit”. Our futsal boys just took you to the cleaners in the second half, winning 7-1 in the half and 11-6 overall. I can taste the sweet, sweet Varsity winners water only ever sampled by Warwick students.

18:15: Coventry are already causing a stir at the hockey – off the pitch that is. Chants of “you’re fucking shit” at the Warwick team must be raising a few eyebrows, considering our sizeable Varsity lead. If the home fans don’t respond with “Coventry, what’s the score” I’ll be disappointed.

18:12: But it’s not all about Yash. Matt is faced with a hockey double this evening; the ladies’ match has just started. Alex is at the futsal, where 20 minutes ago it was half-time with Warwick 5-4 down (sorry Alex, I was following the tennis).

18:07: On that note, can we just appreciate what Yash has been through in the last 24 hours for Boar Sport. Yesterday he watched the titanic table tennis tussle, where Warwick lost 9-8 after almost four hours. Today he’s spent six hours in the tennis centre to see two draws. Surely he’s due some luck when he covers the Men’s Badminton tomorrow morning?

18:02: Another soundbite from our man at the tennis centre:

A 6 hour marathon comes to an end, only for a draw in both men’s and women’s. Great match and I still haven’t seen a win

18:00: It’s heartbreak for Warwick men’s tennis as they lose the final singles match, but fear not – the 3-3 draw moves us on to 31 points as we edge closer to the magic 35-point mark. Two Hockey victories this evening would do nicely. Here’s Yash’s summary:

“A lot tighter than I thought it would be” is the phrase I’m hearing. If I had a penny every time I heard that this weekend I wouldn’t have to be at uni“

17:50: Ladies and gentlemen, this is it. After six hours of play, men’s tennis Varsity has come down to a single tiebreak.

17:48: We’ve realised we’re not actually that sure how the Tennis scoring system works…some people are saying the women’s match finished 3-3, others say it was 6-6. Either way, it was definitely a draw and a fantastic comeback too.

17:47: James here again, hoping to bring you a #TeamWarwick march to victory this evening. We have had two thrillers in the tennis centre today, with the women coming from 3-1 down to draw 3-3 and the men 3-2 up but a set down in the final match. If Warwick want to win Varsity 2017 tonight then a win for the men could be crucial.

17:32: That’s it from me today. Join the Clockwatch team in Westwood this evening for what’s sure to be some epic hockey. #Let’sgoWarwick

17:20: That being said, Warwick Futsal are 3-1 down at Desso Hall. Still plenty of time to go though.

17:17: The dream’s dying for our noisy neighbours as #TeamWarwick edge ever closer to yet another Varsity victory. Predictably, few Warwick butts have been kicked this day.

17:05: Men’s tennis have gone a set down in what’s turning out to be a marathon battle at Fortress Westwood. Fear not, however, as our trustee reporter declares we’ll ‘surely come back in the second’. Surely the Clockwatch Curse won’t strike again…?

16:55: As we gear up for tonight’s stormy hockey bout, here’s Women’s Netball basking in those #VarsityVibes last night.

16:42: It’s been a tennis feast for those in attendance at Fortress Westwood, and our trustee reporter’s loving every second of it – apart from the Cov winning bit that is… women’s tennis go 3-2 down.

16:32: Elation here in the Clockwatch camp as Oxford United storm to a 4-0 lead (alright James, settle down). Meanwhile, men’s hockey are getting pumped for this evening’s clash with Cov. #itsgunagetlairy

16:16: #TeamWarwick are really starting to pull away here, with the overall score now at 27-15. Remember, we only need eight more points to win the whole thing!

16:11: And it’s more points on the board for #TeamWarwick as women’s basketball cruise to a comfortable 54-21 win.

16:06: Meanwhile, Warwick Bears are breathing a sigh of relief after their tight win over Cov. Don’t worry Bears, we won’t ask.

16:02: Thanks James! The piazza may well be deserted, but Westwood is very much ALIVE. The battle for Fortress Westwood continues as Warwick men’s lead 3-1 in the tennis.

15:55: I’ll sign off with even more good news…Warwick are two points closer to another Varsity victory. The ever-reliable sabre-wielding superhumans have beaten Cov 132-108 to put us 25-15 up in the overall standings. Here’s Matt to take you through the next 90 minutes.

15:50: Warwick men’s tennis are 2-1 up, while the women are mounting a comeback. We’re cruising to victory in the basketball, where we’re now leading 44-10. You can watch it live here

15:34: The good news keeps on coming: women’s basketball are 27-2 up in the main hall after the second quarter. Is it too early to say that’s another two points safely in the Varsity bag?

15:25: BOOM. From 8-2 down the Ultimate Frisbee guys have staged a comeback reminiscent of the Basketball last night, winning 10-8. THIS IS HOW WE DO IT.

15:22: Things seem to be going better in the frisbee though:

15:21: BREAKING: The winners of the Varsity 2017 Golf are….Coventry?!!

Yep, our rivals triumph 3.5-2.5. Maybe today won’t be as straightforward as we thought…

15:20: News on the golf incoming. Meanwhile, thoughts? Are Varsity chants a harmless bit of fun or something more?

15:16: Warwick are starting to show their superiority in the Tennis centre – all four singles players are a set up. Four more Varsity points could be heading our way…

15:04: Last time we heard news from the Frisbee we were 4-2 down to a dogged Coventry defence. Well, we have some good news: Warwick have crept back into contention…see it live here (Clickbaity but YOLO)

14:58: Alex weighs in:

#crowdfundforAlex may be more useful

14:55: Thanks for all your tweets with the hashtag #prayforAlex’slaptop. If you could do the same with #prayforAlex it would be really appreciated. He needs our support.

14:48: If you want knowledgeable sports reporting, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s Lizzi’s take on the Women’s Rugby

I have no idea what is happening

14:38: It’s all going off at the Fencing, here’s the latest from Alex:

A sword has been snapped in half here
As you were

14:30: Talking of national sport, Chelsea vs Swansea seems to be the highlight of a frankly drab selection of Premier League fixtures today. That being the case, I’m sure we can count on your viewership for the next couple of hours.

14:24: There’s a grand total of 0 people watching the Six Nations on the big screen. They’re all at the Ultimate Frisbee instead. Shingi reports that Cov are 4-2 up and their “zone defence” is working well. Windy conditions too, which can’t be ideal for frisbee.

14:19: Solid banter from the RaW team there:

14:19: So, what’s the state of play? Well, Warwick Golf are battling it out on the greens of a chilly northern outpost, which is too far for Boar Sport. They’re probably winning though. Fencing are 45-19 up, while Warwick Tennis won both men’s doubles matches, but sadly were defeated in the women’s. Frisbee, Women’s Rugby and Women’s Basketball updates on the way.

14:15: Matt’s gone to source some lunch so you’re stuck with me (James) now, soz. After two hours of technical difficulties and walks to and from Westwood, I’m very glad to be sat in a warm office with my lunch (hummus and tomato sandwich, pork pie, cereal bar and a pear, if you’re asking)

14:04: Talking of commitment, Warwick Bear’s commitment to #TeamWarwick was on full display last night, as they showed their support for women’s netball and men’s volleyball. Their match is now underway at Westwood.

13:55: Remarkably, Alex continues to report from the fencing, where Warwick are apparently 20-14 up. Now that’s commitment to the Clockwatch cause. #prayforAlex’slaptop

13:51: In a part-comical, part-tragic turn of events, the usually unfaltering Alex journeyed halfway to Westwood before realising a water bottle leakage had left his laptop in a damp, sorry state. Our thoughts are with him. Could today go any worse for the Clockwatch team? Almost certainly.

13:43: Moving on swiftly, things don’t appear to be going too well for the women in Fortress Westwood, though Felix and Abdul have taken the first doubles 7-5, 6-4 for the men. In other news, reports are coming in of a Clockwatch crisis at the fencing. More to come…

13:31: I’ve been instructed that it’s too early in the day for niche fencing puns, which frankly aren’t very funny anyway. I had no riposte. Riposte. That’s a fencing term. I’ll stop…

13:24: In the meantime, our favourite Fencing lads & ladettes are underway in the Sports Centre Game Hall. Let’s hope they can pommel Cov into the ground! Get it? Pommel. Oh piste off…

13:16: While the Clockwatch team calmly work through some minor technical issues (F**K THE WEBSITE’S DOWN), WarwickTV are here to save the day with coverage of all the action from Fortress Westwood.

12:35: As I frantically rack my brain for some witty puns of my own, here’s a picture of men’s hockey getting ready to ‘tear cov a new one’ in today’s game at 20:00. Let’s keep it PG lads, my Mum’s reading this.

 

12:28: Talking of Westwood (a segue to be proud of), the tennis is underway. By the looks of these pun-filled signs, the tennis folk are raring to go.

 

12:20: I’m disheartened to inform you that, after some rigorous investigative journalism, Ansty Gold Club is actually further away than Westwood. Surely not? You ask. As such, I know very little about what’s happening there – for all I know it could well be over – so you’re probably too late. Sorry.

12:12: That one is apparently the mixed golf, which is well underway at the Ansty Golf Club (wherever that is), so get yourselves down there, I guess?

12:05: 10 fixtures. 20 points up for grabs. 1 Boar Sport reporter desperately trying to keep track of all of it (What? One’s already started?! My god, I’m doomed). It can only be the penultimate day of VARSITY.

Super Saturday has the potential to be a cracker. Join the Boarsity Clockwatch team through the day as we bring you all the action!

 

Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.