“So, do you have a boyfriend yet?”

Imogen Cooper discusses the pressure placed on young people to have a significant other

I’m single. It’s not something I really think about. Being single isn’t a thing I should have to justify or explain the reasons for, but all too often at university I do feel like I have to justify myself.

There’s a pressure to have a ‘significant other’ – someone to go on dates with, gossip with friends about, and plaster all over Instagram. This seems to get worse in second year; it’s as if you’ve had a year to find someone, and if you haven’t then there’s something wrong with you.

We are made to feel incomplete and can feel judged for not having found the perfect person to be with…

For committed singletons like me, this is a real problem: we are made to feel incomplete and can feel judged for not having found the perfect person to be with, as if that somehow shows our own inadequacy. Whether it’s when chatting with friends or seeing family at home during the holidays, I have come to dread the inevitable grilling about my love life.

Firstly, it’s none of your business, and secondly, why do you even care? I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be in a relationship at university; if you find the right person, I’m sure there’s nothing better than spending time with them and making a commitment to each other. But we shouldn’t be made to feel like this is an essential component in the ‘university experience’.

Not all singletons are like Bridget Jones: we don’t spend our evenings wallowing and eating Ben and Jerry’s…

It’s perfectly possible to have a complete and enjoyable time at university making friends, throwing yourself into your course and societies, and entirely avoiding the issue of relationships altogether.

Not all singletons are like Bridget Jones: we don’t spend our evenings wallowing and eating Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, we are out living our lives and making the most of our freedom.

We are placed under too much pressure to find another, perfect person before actually finding ourselves…

University is supposed to be a time to discover who you are; a sweet spot between the shelter of school and the responsibilities of the real world. Yet instead of concentrating on our own journey into adulthood, we are placed under too much pressure to find another, perfect person before actually finding ourselves.

Friends are enough, and you should be enough for yourself…

So, while relationships are great, there’s so much more to uni, and life in general, than finding a significant other. Friends are enough, and you should be enough for yourself. If you rely on someone else to make you happy, you’re missing something from yourself.