Surviving summer in your family home

The transition from university life to living back at home during summer can be a difficult one, mainly because it can feel like our independence is being stifled. As students, we love the freedom of setting our own rules: there are no parents or guardians telling us what to do, dictating to us what time to be home, or lecturing us about how curry flavoured Supernoodles apparently aren’t a nutritionally viable dinner option.

Needless to say, during term time, the autonomy is glorious. As such, when we leave our student houses and return to our hometowns, it can be a bit of a shock to the system. All of a sudden, you have someone ordering you around and demanding to know why you’re still in your pyjamas at 3pm.

Unfortunately, voicing your discontent like this will likely lead to more trouble, and probably a backhanded slap across the face…

You become indignant. You’re used to doing whatever you please. Why do I need to get dressed, Janet? I’m not going anywhere. Get off my back. I’m a free spirit now. Besides, the less I shower, the more water I save. I’m helping the environment. Climate change is a massive issue! Why can’t you older generations understand my ethics?

Unfortunately, voicing your discontent like this will likely lead to more trouble, and probably a backhanded slap across the face. I’m a firm believer in prevention being better than cure, so here are some tips on how to avoid family friction this summer.

If you spend your days watching amusing YouTube videos of people falling down stairs or dogs chasing their own tails, then that’s fine and I support you 100%

First of all, don’t go out and come back at ridiculous hours in the morning. That kind of behaviour may fly at uni, but as your mother will not-so-calmly remind you, “when you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules”.

If you do feel the need to go out with your friends till 5am, arrange to stay at one of their houses – ideally, the one with the chilled out family. That way, when you’re quizzed about how your night was, you can stumble home in the afternoon when the worst of your hangover has passed and explain nonchalantly, “yeah it was a nice, chilled night, we went home pretty early though”. Remember kids, lies keep families together.

Secondly, look busy at all times, even when you’re not. The worst thing about being lazy is being called out for being lazy. If you spend your days watching amusing YouTube videos of people falling down stairs or dogs chasing their own tails, then that’s fine and I support you 100%, but don’t let your parents know that.

After all, these are the same traitors that kept us in the dark about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy for all those years…

Simply say, “I’m just looking up my reading list for next year so I can get ahead”, or “I’m researching which utility providers to opt for next year so we can get the best deal for our bills”. This way, you look like a fully functioning, mature, organised adult, when in fact you are an immature mess. What they don’t know won’t hurt them, right?

Not that I fully advocate lying to your parents and being completely unproductive for three months of summer, but a white lie here and a bit of minor deception there won’t hurt. After all, these are the same traitors that kept us in the dark about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy for all those years.

Remember not to take it too far though; your parents have raised and supported you for years, and there’s a fine line between slight sloth and downright disrespect. Basically, be cunning enough to get them off your back, but recognise when it’s time to wash up your own dishes. Once you’ve got the balance perfected, then you can enjoy your summer and relax after a year of hard work.