The glorious Boar exec tour to Edinburgh

A much deserved reward awaited our exec on tour in Edinburgh after the stresses and strains of putting out a paper every other week for two terms. (That makes it sound like we haven’t enjoyed it. We have, hugely. But, you know… work hard, play harder.) If you’re expecting to read anything other than a selection of self-indulgent anecdotes and whimsical in-jokes – think again!

This was something of a homecoming for me, being from Glasgow. We may once have been Europe’s murder capital but we’re still the UK’s friendliest city… Edinburgh is basically England anyway so I promised everyone it wouldn’t be too much of a cultural shock.

Departing at the delightful time of 7am, the bus journey was treacherous. Service stations called out to us like the mythical sirens of Ancient Greece, only once perilous rocky shores were now replaced by eye-watering prices for sandwiches. We got to our hostel – a beautiful town house in Haymarket– too knackered to do much. A short nap, a jaunt into town for dinner, and then it was off to El Barrio, a Latino bar and club. Somewhat reluctantly, we salsa-danced the night away…

Service stations called out to us like the mythical sirens of Ancient Greece, only once perilous rocky shores were now replaced by eye-watering prices for sandwiches.

On Saturday, we enjoyed a day at the zoo, although sometimes you did wonder if keeping wild animals in captivity (no lion is deserving of Scotland’s climate – heck, why do you think I moved down south?!), is cruel and unfair and really they should all just be set free like in Madagascar? Animal ethics concerns aside, there was enough monkeying around (ha!) to keep us entertained for the afternoon. Amongst other things, people held some lizards, a monkey looked very sad and our esteemed deputy-editor-in-chief bought an inflatable giraffe and a matching mask. The latter was worn to the club later on which resulted in many people coming up to him asking if he had any drugs… Those same people must be very confused on safari.

My co-Music editor (and girlfriend) and I went for a romantic lunch on the Sunday. It was Valentines’ Day after all, so you know, we felt obliged to. Nothing says love like a last-minute winner from ‘dat guy’ Danny Welbeck and a plate of greasy chilli cheese nachos. An enormous, beaming smile spread across her face as we left. Who said romance was dead?

Animal ethics concerns aside, there was enough monkeying around (ha!) to keep us entertained for the afternoon.

Re-joining the rest we tried to grab a coffee in The Elephant Room, the café in which J. K. Rowling supposedly wrote much of the first Harry Potter book. The only elephant in that room was that it was rammed to the rafters, and the prices were shamelessly bloated. Instead we opted for the quintessential Edinburgh experience- Patisserie Valerie next door; here we would be afforded the care, attention and customer service that we frankly deserved.

We considered hiking up Arthur’s Seat afterwards, but then thought better of it and hit Princes Street to look in Urban Outfitters. Neoliberal capitalism wins again, huzzah! A lovely meal out in a fancy restaurant at night for our Editor’s birthday as we played grown-ups for once was the perfect way to round off a pleasant break away. All in all: good food, good friends and cheap wine times aplenty. Just what the doctor ordered, I reckon!