What I Learned from Sharing a Room

Do you know what it means to be ‘sexiled’? Read on to find out Hannah Bettison’s experience with having a roommate…

Doing a year abroad is undoubtedly an experience of a lifetime, but when I saw the price of a single room, my heart dropped. Over $1000 a month. That works out at about £175 a week, not quite the £92 Rootes rates of my first year. I’d be paying more than the price of Bluebell and I wouldn’t even get a double bed or an en-suite.

Welcome to America: the country where having your own room while at university seems a privilege reserved entirely for trust-fund kids. I’m exaggerating, but when those are the figures it’s no wonder most American students have at least one roommate, often more, when they’re at university. Studying here for a year, I’m no exception.

I’d be lying if I said sharing a room was easy but it is something I’ve gotten used to. It’s also been one of the things from which I’ve learned the most during my year abroad so far. Here’s a run-down of some of what I’ve learned.

To be comfortable in my own skin…literally. I’d known my roommate less than 24 hours before I first saw her naked. She’d shared with three other girls previously so was naturally was more comfortable with the complete lack of privacy. I’m fine with close friends seeing me naked but this girl was pretty much a stranger. However soon enough I stopped shutting myself in our tiny shared bathroom just to get changed. In fact, it was kind of liberating to realise no matter how little I knew this person I didn’t feel at all self-conscious or judged in my own skin, it’s just human.

I have also learned what it is to be be ‘sexiled’. Definition: to be exiled from your room so your roommate can enjoy some alone time with their other half/one night stand/friend with benefits etc. Thankfully it’s not something I’ve experienced all too much, although I’ve also learned to always knock, just in case. I know of many people who’ve spent nights on sofas, pulled mattresses into living rooms, taken strategic showers, coordinated schedules, and even used the old sock on the door trick. What I’ve learned? It’s surprisingly easy to figure out a way to get couple time, and people are surprisingly imaginative.

I’ve also learned to cry less. I’m not a serial crier but I’d say in the past I’d cry a little more than average. A sad movie, essay deadline stress or just that time of the month. However I like to keep this to the privacy of my own room which, when your room is no longer private, is an issue. In the first week or so I was pretty overwhelmed with the changes and discovered that sitting on the toilet was the only place I felt comfortable enough to cry. As a result of this less than pleasant experience I’ve found myself crying less, but I haven’t felt worse for it. If I really felt the need to cry I’m sure I’d go to the effort of finding somewhere to be alone, or just bawl in front of my roommate. I still believe that sometimes it’s good to ‘let it all out’ it but perhaps we use it as an excuse to wallow in self-pity a little more than necessary, at least in my case.

Despite my initial hesitation sharing a room has been a pretty eye-opening and unique opportunity and, as much as I still crave my own space from time to time I wouldn’t swap my current living situation given the chance. If nothing else perhaps if you get stuck with the dreaded Westwood twin room you’ll be a little more open minded, or at least a little more prepared.