The 12 days of reality

Beth Hurst says that Christmas never is like the movies…

1^st Day of Christmas

I wake up and can smell it! Christmas is in the air – it’s all around, and I’m ready! I open the curtains expecting a blanket of snow. Soon I will be putting on wellies and making crisp footprints in the white. Instead, I am greeted by a months worth of rainfall, several overflowing rivers and a flooded town. Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain…

2^nd Day of Christmas

A baby Jesus statue falling in an open fire, allergies from Auntie’s dog dripping at your nose, Fairy-tale of New York being sung by a drunk, and friends going out in not much clothes….

3^rd Day of Christmas

This year I have realised that Father Christmas doesn’t live in the North Pole, but in a house in Leamington Spa; A.K.A myself, 4 weeks ago on Black Friday sending email links to my mum for cut-price presents while simultaneously trying to talk her through how to copy and paste (“Ctrl + v” Pauline, we’ve been over this). Santa is so incompetent these days…

4^th Day of Christmas

I buy a burgundy roll-neck top in the pre-Christmas sales and declare a Christmas miracle. Love actually does exist and can be found in the revival of noughties fashion. Joy to the Turtle Neck!

5^th Day of Christmas

An elf called Buddy once taught me “the best way to spread Christmas Cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” However, I’m one verse into Baby It’s Cold Outside and my sister starts banging on the wall. Even at Church, the beauty of Silent Night is somewhat diminished by the old ladies shushing the new-born who is crying in the pews. At least the slightly burnt Jesus sculpture is quiet…

6^th Day of Christmas

It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, every creature was stirring, trying to panic wrap presents until the sellotape ran out – meaning an impromptu dash to Tesco’s and some shoddy work with some masking tape.

7^th Day of Christmas

Christmas present received from boyfriend is NOT gorgeous sexy necklace a la Love Actually, or even a heart-breaking Joni Mitchel CD, but a dress I picked myself, and an umbrella. At least it will help with the rain though…

8^th Day of Christmas

The films imagine the Prime Minister dancing around to ‘Jump’ at Christmas time. David Cameron’s Christmas message revolves around “a home that is safe.” Pity our Maintenance Grants for next year aren’t.

9^th Day of Christmas

Sometimes I dream of being left Home Alone by my entire family, having to defend myself against dozy bad guys with elaborate booby traps. Instead the family never leave, and are nagging you to sort your socks, which is much more important than your uni essay, obviously.

10^th Day of Christmas

New Years Eve arrives and I hope that my Troy Bolton will appear beside me on the karaoke machine. As the clock strikes 12 all I remember is my friend firmly planting her lips around a bottle of Cava.

11^th Day of Christmas

As moving back to uni beckons, I can’t help but think of the Grinch’s words, “be it ever so heinous, there’s no place like home.” From the heating and food, to the little funny memories attached to every decoration – the tension, the stress, and the joy are what Christmas at home is all about.

12^th Day of Christmas

I end the season watching It’s a Wonderful Life, and for some reason can’t help but shed a tear. Not because of too many Bailey’s, but because whilst, in reality, Christmas is nothing like the films, it is wonderful all the same.