Are British Managers Sexy Enough For Top Jobs?

When played in a certain way, football is a sexy game. There’s no doubt about that.

The tiki taka style of the continental game starts slowly at the back, brushing the surface of the grass gently between the players, patiently starting to build whilst never being tempted to jump the gun with an aimless long ball over the top. Appreciating all parts of the pitch and taking note of what’s working and what isn’t, the pressure starts to build as the strokes get quicker and more adventurous.

Teasing down the right, more and more elements start to become involved in the cat and mouse chase as the winding runs of attackers between centre half and full back create spaces in the defensive line that are begging to be filled with other bodies.

Something exciting is happening here as the tension builds in all four corners of the ground. Passes, breaths and the space between heart beats shorten and it’s only a matter of time before the killer ball is played in behind. The anticipation of this can be too much, and the playmaker picking the right pass at the right time is the difference between a moment-killing block and a roaring finish.

Then it happens. Work on the training ground pays off as there’s an understanding of what needs to be done. Two bodies become one as the number 10 lends it to the 9 and sprints forward with a dramatic change of pace. He takes back a perfectly weighted return and strikes the sweet spot to smash it between the sticks with such a force that one wonders how there isn’t a hole in the net. The crowd screams with satisfaction, embracing passionately before rolling off and taking some time to return to a resting heart rate.

Rather than lighting a cigarette and engaging in awkward pillow talk, however, the players return to the centre circle to start the dance once more. They’re fit, well-trained and always ready to go again.

This is the slick, technical, champagne football of Europe’s top sides. The Barcelona’s, Real Madrid’s and Bayern Munich’s of this world swagger onto the field each and every week to deliver consistently exceptional and yes, sexy, football that excites the winning fans and even turns on the losing set a little bit.

But the British game is played with a slightly different culture and philosophy than in Europe, which has created something of a gap between the Premier League and the top divisions across the Channel. Emphasis on physicality, big tackles and end-to-end excitement rather than patient build-up play has left English teams lagging behind somewhat in what has become an increasingly technical game.

We are constantly smashed in the face with the idea of the Premier League being unquestionably “the best league in the world” due to its competitiveness, but quality-wise it would be hard to argue that the world’s best teams and players ply their trade in Britain and this has been the case for quite some time. One need only look at the list of previous winners of the Premier League Player of the Season award to realise how closely it resembles a shopping list for Barcelona and Real Madrid, as Cristiano Ronaldo, Luka Modric, Gareth Bale and Luis Suarez to name a few have swapped cold nights in Stoke for the sunshine of the Spanish cities when it became clear just how good they were.

To combat this, there has been a tendency among the top teams in Britain to employ foreign managers in the hope that they can implement some of the technicality and flare of the sexier leagues from whence they came to Premier League sides. It is currently the case that 6 of the top 7 Premier League clubs have non-British managers – the only exception being Liverpool’s Northern Irish coach, Brendan Rodgers, who made his name playing this brand of sexy football with Swansea City.

One could easily dismiss this as not an issue but a simple bi-product of the cosmopolitan world of modern football, where the best clubs recruit the best coaches, regardless of nationality in the same way that they would a player.

But with FA Chairman, Greg Dyke looking to change the rules and regulations of the Premier League to ensure that more young English players get the chance to play for the biggest clubs, there is an inconsistency with English coaches.

Right Said Fred famously said that they were “too sexy for Milan”, but the majority of British football managers apparently aren’t even sexy enough for Manchester, as David Moyes found out when the seductive shadow of curtain haired, consistent winner Louis van Gaal began to hang over him.

Although “British jobs for British people” has become something of a dirty phrase in the era of Nick Griffin and Nigel Farage, there are plenty of talented, experienced and tactically astute British coaches in the Premier League that are constantly overlooked for the top managerial positions. These, much more often than not, go to foreign managers who have not been shackled by the necessity of pragmatism that comes with managing a team fighting for survival in a physical league, and so have been able to express themselves more freely.

‘Big’ Sam Allardyce been dogged with criticism throughout his career by fans and the media, who feel that his teams play technically poor ‘long-ball’ football that, while getting results and consolidating survival in the division with incredible consistency, is unentertaining. However, with limited resources at his disposal and constantly only being given opportunities to manage clubs where mid-table would be a dream come true, perhaps Sam can’t be blamed for playing unsexy football.

Teams like Bolton, Blackburn and West Ham that Allardyce has managed only have the finances to bring in a certain calibre of player, most of which are not suited to the style of football that is aimed for at the top level. You can put Kevin Nolan and Andy Carrol in their underwear and take photos with a greyscale filter, but that won’t make them as sexy, nor as technically gifted, as Cristiano Ronaldo and David Beckham.

Sam has recently claimed that “nobody is better or more sophisticated” as a coach in the Premier League at the moment and years ago suggested that he would be manager of Real Madrid if his name was the more continental ‘Allardychi’. Some may scoff at that, but is there really any evidence to suggest that this doesn’t hold some grounding?

Allardyce has been in the game for a very long time, and the fact that he knows how to get the best out of mediocre players surely generates some encouragement for speculation of what he could achieve with better resources. West Ham’s first season back in the Premier League was 2012-2013, and just two years later they were briefly flirting with the Champions League after some good recruitment of a few stars of the World Cup; whilst widely unfancied Stewart Downing proved a revelation when played at the tip of a fluid midfield diamond.

Form has dropped as speculation over whether Allardyce will be offered a contract renewal has gained pace, but this is still evidence of a boss that knows the game, and the Premier League, very well.

The recent form of Crystal Palace – a club historically destined to drop straight back out of the Premier division just a year after entering it – has again proved the often unheralded quality of British coaches.

Following Ian Holloway’s resignation 11 games into last season, Welshman and Stoke City veteran, Tony Pulis was made clear favourite to take over when a single baseball cap was finally purchased in the club shop. On just 4 points at the time, Pulis’ famous pragmatism guided Palace to an unthinkable 11^th place finish before leaving to pick up the pieces at a similarly faltering West Bromwich Albion earlier this season.

As again Palace struggled in the bottom three, Alan Pardew made the initially surprising move to Selhurst from Newcastle United – stepping away from his much publicised 8-year contract. Released from increasingly wantaway owner Mike Ashley and a stressful season under the clownish Joe Kinnear as Director of Football, Palace have once again been rejuvenated. They now lie mid-table, rising more like a phoenix than the eagle of their crest to almost guaranteed safety. Had the season started when Pardew took over, Palace would lie in a Europa League qualifying fifth – and one would find it difficult not to credit Pardew almost solely for this.

Even Tim Sherwood’s “second to none” 69% win ratio at Tottenham Hotspur was not enough to keep him his job, as Daniel Levy opted to move in the direction of sexier Argentine Mauricio Pochettino instead. Sherwood was in no danger of not finding a job if he wanted one – he was linked to so many that I feared my part-time position as a cleaner would be under threat – but none of these were at clubs in anywhere near the league position of Spurs. Sherwood eventually took over at misfiring Aston Villa and has seen them improve with a sexier and more fluid style.

The reeling off of these recent examples whilst leaving out so many others is evidence that this could be a market that is not being tapped into by the bigger clubs in the league.

 Big Sam may not seem very sexy at the moment – but give him a 40,000 seated stadium, £50million to spend and some gold body glitter and he may surprise everybody.

As Manuel Pellegrini’s job at Manchester City hangs in the balance after losing out to Pardiola’s Palace and more recently to van Gaal’s resurgent Manchester United, the board may be looking to recruit a new manager soon. Whether this materialises and the hunt for a man who can bring back the sexy title-winning football that has graced the Etihad in recent years takes place remains to be seen, but one thing is almost certain – this man will not be British.