Sexual harassment: Where is the line?

[dropcap]I[/dropcap] am a feminist. I feel it’s necessary to state this from the outset. I whole-heartedly believe men and women should be seen as equal in all spheres of life. Therefore, when social media became atwitter (pun intended) with disgust towards a video exposing sexual harassment in New York (found here), I was happy to jump on the bandwagon because there are still many who think the gender gap isn’t a problem anymore (and it most certainly is) and that sexual harassment is taken too sensitively (it isn’t).

The video went viral, and people were posting about how awful it was that this actress was, if all comments are to be taken as harassment, harassed 108 times in 10 hours. Most comments made by the men in the video were meant to intimidate, weren’t respectful and could be quite rightfully construed as verbal sexual harassment.

Yet, despite fully agreeing that sexual harassment is a prevalent problem in society, we need to be careful about what we label as “harassment”.

Certain comments in the video can be seen as simple and friendly. No doubt the one guy who simply walked beside her for a full five minutes was quite scary. But what about “have a good evening” or “God bless”? Can that be construed as sexual harassment? Or is it simply a wish from a passer-by to, quite simply, have a good evening?

If taken at face value, good evening simply means good evening. However, is that being naive? Should it be taken as face value? It all depends on how it was meant to be taken-what was the intention behind the words? If the man who made the comment only enunciates this to young women who he perceives as attractive, then we’re more inclined to see it as sexual harassment than a blasé greeting. The problem is, we don’t really know that. We can’t simply jump to the conclusion that the intention behind the words isn’t acceptable when the words are something like “have a good evening”.

It isn’t as easy as saying the comment is friendly or it isn’t. There is no obvious line, innocent words aren’t quite so innocent if the intention behind them isn’t. The question is, then, how can we separate innocent words with innocent intentions from innocent words and unacceptable intentions?

The concern on both sides is valid. Reporting sexual harassment isn’t always easy and so we don’t want to be able to say that if someone has said “have a good evening” in a way intended to be harassing that you ought not to report it. Equally, though, men shouldn’t have to second guess every possible sentence that they say in case it could be twisted in a way that is unpleasant but unintended. It comes down to where the line really is. Where is the boundary between something that is verbal sexual harassment and something that can be construed as verbal sexual harassment, but isn’t intended to be?

Perhaps all of this misses the point entirely, though. We can’t find that line because it’s impossible to always know what someone’s intentions are, and even if we judge correctly, it’s easy to lie. So, instead of trying to pin point this imaginary, defining divide, we should perhaps focus on a different point.

The question that ought to be poised is whether the actress herself felt harassed. If the “have a good evening” comment made her feel uncomfortable because she has reason to believe an untoward intention, then there’s no reason why it can’t be construed as unacceptable and a form of sexual harassment.

We shouldn’t shy away from saying a certain comment can’t be sexual harassment because of the nature of the words themselves. After all, much of what you say isn’t even based on the words, more is about tone and body language. However, this needs to be balanced with a sense of understanding, though, and this can be seen as pretty antifeminist. It can be seen as simply making excuses for “soft” sexual harassment. This isn’t the case. If we take such an extreme view then anything can be construed as sexual harassment, all you need is the will and sensitivity.

Finding that balance is most important. After all, we don’t want all genuinely nice people to never say “have a good evening”, out of fear, do we?