One girl, five guys

We’ve heard one side of the story, now Samantha Hopps tells us what it’s really like to live with five males… 

Picture this: you’re in your room trying on clothes for an event you’re going to the next day, when a boy walks in without knocking, takes some mini eggs from your desk, farts, and then leaves. A shocking lack of decorum you might think, but not so in a house of five boys. While an article in the last edition of the Boar outlined what it’s like to live with four girls, I thought it only necessary to explain what it is like the other way around.

Let me tell you something: boys have hair too, and it’s not just girls who shed. In my house it’s not infrequent to pull something alarmingly resembling a slimy rat out of the shower drain. That problem is certainly not limited to gender distinctions.

Needless to say, there are a few mothers out there who I would like to have stern words with

Photos: Pixabay / PublicDomainPictures

While it’s common thing to have watched a few episodes of the Simpsons growing up, I did not realise it was so common to have watched every episode several times over to the extent that you can make a relevant quote in every real-life situation, even when it’s totally inappropriate. In a way, it is impressive, but I can’t help feeling there are better ways they could have spent their childhoods.

Needless to say, there are a few mothers out there who I would like to have stern words with, mainly to question why they have never made their sons put their own rubbish in the bin, take a bin bag out, or clean a bathroom. Hell, you could even have taught your sons that opening a window stops their room from smelling like a thousand foetid bodies, and that if you screw a tea towel up and shove it on the side, it doesn’t dry.

But aside from all of my less-than-charitable ranting, living with boys does have its up side. On nights the drunken soap operas that often occurred in first year have significantly decreased, and there’s little to no back-stabbing bitchiness. So I guess they’re not quite as bad as I make out.