War of the Onesies: which side are you on?

They’re great, they’re easy, and they’re versatile.

The day-onesie is a personal favourite of mine – it’s the one you can wear to the shop, or when you’re entertaining guests, or even travelling long-haul. It’s clean, comfortable, and there’s no need to co-ordinate tops and bottoms.

The nighttime onesie is an absolute dream after a particularly long, stressful, or cold day (who am I kidding, ANY DAY).It’s soft and warm, probably a bit thicker than your day onesie, and it’s totally acceptable to sleep in if the weight of the day gets all too much and you drift gently into the Land of Nod. Matching slippers are optional, but incredibly desirable.

“What? You’re having a fancy dress party tomorrow?! I haven’t got a costume!” Does this sound familiar? It should. But once again, onesiescome to the rescue. Just nip down to Primark and pick up an all-in-one Superman for only £12, attend the party dressed like a winner, and reap the benefits of adding yet another onesie to your collection. Aced it.

Our lives are made that much better thanks to the invention and acceptance of onesies as mainstream garb, and so I say to you, “Long Live the Onesie!” Stay away from twosies though – they’re fucking gross.

They were made for babies

Bethan McGrath

Ah, the onesie. That oversized baby grow which has, in recent years, wormed its way into the wardrobes of most young adults. At the beginning, it was simply something to slip into after a long day’s work in the privacy of your home. There’s no problem with this – there are much stranger things going on behind closed doors. But it’s the recent phenomenon of wearing onesies in public that leaves me quite dumbfounded. Strutting around Tesco in pyjamas prompts a condescending look from most people, so why is the onesie viewed as any more acceptable? Does an extra inch of fabric affixing the top to the bottom really make it less of a fashion faux pas?

“But they’re comfortable!” I hear you exclaim. They may very well be, but that’s because they were made for infants whose days revolve around eating, sleeping, and excreting. I’d hope that at this stage in our lives, we could recognise that we’re nearing adulthood, and should really dress appropriately. Onesies exude irresponsibility and foolishness; is this really the impression that we, as a generation already battling negate stereotyping, want to give the passing middle-aged customers of Tesco? These people represent our potential job interviewers – donning a onesie may very well be leaving them with the impression that the new generation of graduates are lacking in skills as fundamental as dressing ourselves.

The prevalence of onesies is worrying, but wearing them in public is just plain unacceptable. The real question is how far we are prepared to go in the name of comfort. We might just be seeing adult nappies hitting the shelves soon…​