Are you losing your bestie to a baddie?

Oh, how easy it is to love others. There are people in all of our lives that we care about greatly – parents, siblings, classmates, flat-mates… the list goes on. But what happens when one of the people you care about most, your best friend, ends up caring for someone who is obviously the wrong match for them? What do you do?
Well, here’s a quick three-step plan to figure out how exactly to deal with the proverbial cat your best friend just dragged out of the bag and into your lives… let’s call them the BFP (Best Friend’s Partner) for short.

Step one: identify the problem. What is it about this character that you dislike so much? Maybe it’s a matter of the two being opposites. Perhaps your friend is a neat freak and their partner is a total slob, or maybe your friend loves action movies and hates being dragged to the cinema by their partner to see the latest Nicholas Sparks film. You know your best friend well, and you can’t believe they even got together with someone who obviously pushes their buttons the wrong way, who likes all the things they dislike, and that strikes you as an odd decision for your friend to make. Or maybe it’s something a little more serious: maybe you’ve been taken aback by a particularly offensive thing the BFP has said or done, or possibly the BFP has some sort of negative reputation that might somehow affect their relationship with your best friend.

Step two: once the problem has been identified, assess whether or not it is a problem that is part of the BFP’s personality or if it is a problem that the BFP could easily solve.

Step three: if it’s the latter (and you’re close enough to the BFP to do this), it might be worth a shot just talking it out with the BFP – so for example if the BFP is constantly leaving their stuff in your kitchen, that might be easily cleared up with a bit of calm discussion. However, if the problem is one that appears to be part of the BFP’s personality – if they are rude or arrogant, especially if their behaviour is obviously affecting your best friend in a negative way – then you have to talk to your friend about it. Ask them if they’re aware of this behaviour and what effect that behaviour has on them. For example, if the BFP is making xenophobic remarks or remarks that your best friend seems uncomfortable with, ask them how much it is bothering them and if it is something they have discussed with their partner already.
But to be honest, there is only so much you can do about who your best friend chooses to start a relationship with. The more important thing is to support your best friend – even if you don’t like the BFP, the most you can really do is express your concerns in some way, shape or form. It is up to your best friend to make their own decisions and potential mistakes, and up to you to just be there for them through the good and the bad.
So for a final point, here is an extra bonus step in this plan.

Step four: if the BFP leaves or hurts your friend, be ready by their side with alcohol and/or ice-cream as well as a shoulder to lean on and possibly a funny film (I personally recommend something like 21 Jump Street, but… to each their own). Good luck with your BFPs!