Tips for future apprentices

We’ve nearly finished series nine of the Apprentice already and surprisingly, the well-loved programme still hasn’t become tired, with viewing figures hitting a series high of over seven million last week.

Although the modified format of the show, which involves candidates fighting it out to become Lord Sugar’s business partner rather than to become his apprentice, has been in play for three series now, it became clear last week that both the audience and top business tycoons are still figuring out the process.

After Neil Clough, savvy salesman who seemed to be the front runner from the very start of the competition, left the final five as “the right man with the wrong plan”, it is obvious that Lord Sugar and his sidekicks had not checked the business plans of the group thoroughly before giving them places on the show.

The Apprentice in this way has the ability to either make or break a potential career: Neil may not have had the best investment idea, but certainly would be a fantastic employee, surely notching up an extra few grand on his pay check next year quite easily.

However, some of the business plans of the final five were so shockingly awful that many questioned why the candidates were in the process at all. Oxford graduate Jordan Poulton had built his entire plan on the presumption that he was going to be a shareholder in another business, with no actual legal agreement.
Lord Sugar and his colleagues argued that he had not created the company himself and called him a “parasite”, possibly leaving Jordan under poor light in terms of a future career, and causing him to fight back online.

Although Francesca Macduff-Varley just missed out on the final because Lord Sugar decided that the other two business plans “excited” him more, she came out of the competition positively: as a genuine person who doesn’t mess colleagues around.

So where does this leave the final two? Plenty of viewers have been raving over the “all-woman final”, yet others have criticised the gender-typical choices of the finalists: baking and beauty. But somehow, I doubt the fight to the end will be stereotypically ladylike.

Doctor Leah Totton, emphasising her academic background which is unusual for this process, seems set for the future even if she does not succeed in the business world, as she still has her PhD to fall back on. Equally, Luisa Zissman has three businesses to run should she fail – she’ll just have to suffer the disappointment of her current success being “not enough” (in her own words).

However, from her fiery and difficult personality to the hysteria in the media over her raunchy Facebook photos and affair with a film producer, Luisa may find herself in hot water next week whether she wins the show or not.

Lord Sugar has a difficult decision to make. Will he go for the calm and collected doctor, whose business plan proposes a potential moral dilemma, or will he go for the hot-headed businesswoman, who would have to juggle a fourth business? Personally I think he’ll end up choosing Leah, as she gives a slightly different and unique perspective on business and portrays that anyone from any background – even academic – can get into business.

Yet I dare, as a viewer, to give a piece of advice to Lord Sugar. Make sure you check the candidates’ business plans before you give them a place on the show in future. You’re not looking for an apprentice anymore (Neil would have fit the bill perfectly, in that case), but a business partner. Preferably one who can actually find a gap in the market, and doesn’t just try and steal another person’s company.

Oh, and it might be a good idea to check their Facebook profile, too.