Is money at the heart of finding love?

**On the face of it, the question of whether love can be bought seems almost too absurd to ask. Yet, the impact of money in finding ‘the one’ may be greater than most people think.**
If it’s really true that ‘you can’t help who you fall in love with’ then how can love be reduced to something that can be bought with money, a commodity almost? If true love really is an emotional connection outside of our control, then surely love can occur without even knowing someone’s financial state? By implication, love can prevail even after finding out that the person you’ve just fallen in love with is £100,000 in debt.

Maybe love is a fairy tale ending that money can’t buy. This is certainly what everyone considers and hopes love to be. But that doesn’t mean to say that relationships don’t necessarily form on the basis of money.

Although, love for someone’s wallet appears to be very different from love for the person themselves, perhaps the certainty of a financially stable future that marrying someone richer brings, is worth sacrificing true love for. In such difficult economic times, knowing that you’ll be protected from the increasingly difficult hunt for a job must be very reassuring, and some people may simply see living a life of luxury as more important than finding true love.

Claiming that people would marry just for the sake of money, however, is a bold statement to make; most likely, too bold. Rather than relationships forming due to the partner’s money itself, it is the implications of having money that can influence love. Being the richer partner in a relationship brings with it a sense of power. Those people who like to be in control are, therefore, more likely to fall in love with someone earning less than them and vice versa.

Even more important than this are the implications that being richer has for someone’s personality. Having a successful job implies maturity and responsibility; being saddled with debt implies a more carefree attitude to life, which may well be a turn off for people who see irresponsibility as a very unattractive trait. These rules don’t apply to students of course, where being saddled with debt is pretty much accepted as the norm.

Worst of all, we can view love and relationships purely in economic terms, as a transaction whereby people choose ‘the one’ whom they can gain the most utility from. As people flock to dating websites, searching for the characteristics of their perfect match, the process seems not so dissimilar from that of buying a car.

Rather than an emotional connection, dating websites paint a picture of love as a commodity whereby we all know what we’re looking for in a relationship and it is just a case of finding someone who matches, as closely as possible, our ideal. If this is the case, then there is no doubt that money will be high up on most people’s lists of important characteristics. In much the same way as we are more likely to choose a car that can get us safely from A to B, we would be more likely to choose a partner whose financial position means they can provide us with security for the years to come.

The view of love as a commodity just seems wrong. There is no denying that love is an emotional connection that money can’t buy. To see money as completely insignificant though, is perhaps also unrealistic, particularly in difficult financial times. As Valentine’s Day approaches, however, there appears to be no harm in still hoping that the fairy tale ending is a possibility.