Student Soapbox: Are we being taken for a ride?

**You stumble out of one of Leamington’s fine establishments in the early hours of the morning, avoiding the congealing sick that clings half to the pavement and half to the walls, completely unaware that you are about to be ambushed and this time not by the man standing in the street trying to sell you fake roses to give to a beloved one night stand. **

You’re seeing double of everything and that’s exactly what the meter will be reading in the taxis that come swarming like curb crawling harpies ready to take advantage of your blurred version. They treat you to a welcome glimpse of warmth and foolishly you hold down the kebab trying to force its way back up your throat and fall into that vehicle.

He squeezes you in like tinned sardines because not having enough people for seats is the business way forward, tries to charge you a one off fee of £30 and then another £4 to traverse that arduous Hobbit-like unexpected journey to Westwood. I want you to know in the unlikely circumstance that you are reading this that I still have your registration number saved on my phone under ‘twat reg’, I may have been drunk but my fingers didn’t fail me, so don’t try anything funny with other students.

These taxis are your only late night link to the campus and they know it, it’s just unfortunate that the time in your life where you feel like you have the least money is the time where people feel like they can rip you off the most.

Now this is subjective, directed at a few individuals, as I know there are lovely taxi drivers in and around Leamington that friends have used, I just haven’t had the pleasure of meeting many yet.

Maybe instead of spending half my student loan on taxi’s to and from Leamington I should make one long term investment in hiring Ryan Gosling as a personal driver, then at least we can do some Drive-type antics down the streets of Kenilworth on the way home. Perhaps Nigel Thrift would be so kind as to share some of his pay rise and good will by hiring out a bus and driving paralytic students back to Warwick in the early hours of the morning.
I think I might try walking home; it can’t be that far right? Like every good stingy student I’d rather walk the extra mile, or ten, than feel like I was being ripped off, plus the rum in my hip flask will keep me warm. If you see me hitchhiking by the side of the A46 around dawn and I haven’t turned into a snowman yet then feel free to pick me up on your way back to campus – I’m not paying you though.

School students never have this problem.