Shooting the elephant in the kitchen

**For the unlucky ones among us, living in student accommodation sometimes ends up becoming a nightmare. The odd dirty plate turns into constant acrid piles of crockery; the spoon on the floor ends up becoming a crumb-filled cutlery fest at the doorway; the out-of-date milk transforms into an avalanche of off-white mould. Okay – maybe it’s not that bad, but for some people it can be.**

There is always that one person who doesn’t do their bit to manage their stuff properly: the elephant in the kitchen is alive and rampant. It has only been a month, and you definitely don’t want to create rifts; but at the same time you shudder at the thought of this despair carrying on. Suddenly you are faced with a dilemma: how should you approach this?

Not everyone is the same, and it’s always good to be observant of people’s normal behavioural tendencies before jumping in with a sackful of judgements. Talking to them may seem like a hindrance more than a help, but you can be surprised at how much people respect honest approaches.

Being sneaky in how you approach them, however, is the key – try to avoid being too confrontational about their behaviour as you never know how they will react if you tell them upfront, no holds barred.

Casually dropping in remarks about unattended dishes and unclean pans can often serve as the best catalyst for the housemate in question to realise what they are, or in this case are not, doing.

Although it may seem tempting, gossiping about people behind their backs is definitely not the way to handle situations like these. Sod’s law – they will inevitably walk in on you talking about them. Although gossiping could be a relieving purge of your built-up annoyance, it can also lead to a larger fracture in the rapport among your friends or flatmates, inevitably creating a bigger problem than that which originally existed.

Hypocrisy, although a term which is hot on the lips of many students, is an important thing to be aware of. There is nothing worse than being pestered about helping out around the kitchen by people who conveniently don’t do anything themselves. Though, being the Barefoot Contessa of Kitchen 4 doesn’t necessarily mean that you can be harshly judgmental towards others either.

One must remember that there could be an understandable motive behind your housemate’s undesirable behaviour. Not everyone is lazy out of their own choice; some people just don’t understand the social conventions which exist among people who live together.

This is when the observational aspect comes into play again: you can always pick up uncertainties in people’s behaviour from their body language and how they speak. Be mindful of the fact that the people who come to university are not homogenous and each have their limitations. Even those who are socially inert can benefit from support from their housemates.

Coming across housemates who don’t clean up after themselves, leaving a mess which becomes detrimental to others, is never a nice thing- especially in your first year. Being shrewd about it is the best way forward.

And remember: if you find that your flatmates’ habits are bringing out the worst in you, or if they are doing something to actively annoy you, the university may offer services to aid you. You can always give Nightline a call or ask for advice from the Students’ Union.