Arthur any more ways this remake could annoy?

Arthur is ridiculous. In short, Russell Brand plays a hedonistic and reckless playboy who is offered an ultimatum by his business-minded and exhausted mother (Geraldine James): marry the upper-class Susan (Jennifer Garner) and inherit a $950 million fortune or lose his entire inheritance but be with Naomi (Greta Garwig), the woman he loves. A simple choice between wealth and love but it’s not the sort of dilemma your average Joe encounters on a usual weekday. Along with the dreamscape Manhattan background, there are scenes of debaucherous, hysterical excess that never include hangovers, stomach-pumping or ludicrous injuries and the presence of a Batmobile, a Mystery Machine and Evander Holyfield. All in all, it’s clear that this is the type of film that doesn’t aim for the brain. It is decadent escapism and easy, fun watching.

Except it’s not. Arthur is like being hit in the head repeatedly with a white-hot, brick spade, while discussing the merits of democracy with Muammar Gaddafi, or sobriety with Charlie Sheen: painful, never-ending and fruitless. Arthur desperately needs engaging characters to make this the light-hearted fun it aims to be but is left with a painful triumvirate of poorly acted caricatures. Was Russell Brand ever funny? It’s hard to believe that his performance in Get Him To The Greek just last year was at times side-splitting when in Arthur he’s acting the grown up baby on steroids, spouting idiocy and acting foolishly whilst making the odd horrendously clunky lines about his love for Naomi. It makes it worse he’s barely off the screen, the sheer irritating nature of this performance enables the film to crumble alongside him.

He’s not alone though. Garner in her portrayal of the potential bride Susan gravitates from dull albeit attractive corporate clone, to a rampant, salacious sex pest to a final transformation at the Altar into a crazed, psychotic Heather Mills (with the leg). And Garwig makes Naomi relentlessly so so so chirpy. So chirpy she practically redefines chirpy, and quick question, considering Arthur managed to rent Grand Central Terminal for your date, did you never manage to consider the source of his wealth and LOOK HIM UP ON GOOGLE?! This is a prime example of what all the characters in Arthur do: act in a nonsensical manner. With the majority of characters being caricatures or in Garner’s case, multiple, it’s hard to deal with this silliness and the predictability of the plot, which follows moral convention. Yes, it can be said that Helen Mirren plays her stern, but quietly soft Nanny to Arthur effectively, and the very last scene circumvents the otherwise predictable course of events, with a cheeky answer to the central dilemma of Love or Wealth. There is also a relatively funny scene involving a magnetic bed and a remote control. The magnetic bed might just be the best acted character in the film. But still, Arthur is such an irritating and frankly, dull film. Watch the original instead and let’s hope that Russell Brand can find something to make him funny once again, because this Arthur remake is not worth wasting any more words on.