Boy vs. girl: Breaking up over summer, is it worth the upset?

*Chris Parkinson*: Having been home for a month, blowing off steam from the exam period, trying to forget the only four weeks of work you did this year, you go out with your old friends from home to ‘that place we always went to before university.’ After several drinks, you catch the eye of that girl or boy who you wanted to get with but never did before leaving for the wonderful world of Warwick.

There are two possible positions you could be in at this crucial moment in the evening. The first is single and happy to pursue avenues that just didn’t quite work out in your younger years. You get with him or her, have a lovely night and move on. Or you get with them, have a lovely night and wake up the following morning and remember you are in a relationship. “But wait!” you say, “I’m in the prime of my life, I’m young and just having a good time, last night was no big deal.” You are wrong. The person you got into a relationship with back at university will be largely unimpressed to find out about what you did, even if they did something very similar themselves. So you either don’t tell them and feel guilty for the rest of your relationship, or do tell them and get unceremoniously dumped. Neither of these are good situations.

This is the time to be all grown up and admit to yourself that yes, you will be getting drunk at home, yes there are people back there who you have history with, don’t know that well but quite fancy or have never met but know you’ll like when you do. Why put yourself through all that trauma? Just have a break for the summer, if the relationship is worth pursuing then it will be strengthened rather than weakened by such a mature attitude to your own lack of self-control.

Don’t ruin your summer, enjoy yourself – you can settle down later.

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*Tara Lawrence*: So it’s summer, and us girls are setting off with our friends for a few weeks of fun in the sun before returning back home to enter into a little work experience. He, on the other hand, is backpacking through Thailand for a month and then (because that’s not a real holiday) is off for a family break to France. But just because you’re not in the same place for a while, does that automatically mean that you have to take a three-month break?

Modern technologies have provided us with the easiest forms of cross-continent communication. While our parents and grandparents had to keep the love alive by post, often waiting days or even weeks to hear from their other halves, not only can we be in contact every day, but we are even able to see each other, if a little hazily, via Skype! Therefore, there is absolutely no excuse for going through an emotional breakup because you can’t see each other.

Besides, whatever happened to plain old trust? If you aren’t able to trust your boyfriend or girlfriend while they are away and out of sight then perhaps that says more about your relationship in the first place. If you don’t trust your partner, or yourself, to exercise some self-control for three months, then the chances are you probably shouldn’t be together anyway!

But if you do trust each other, why give up before you’ve tried? Breakups for the sake of it are never a good idea. Quite simply, if you are prepared to break up for three months in favour of a bit of meaningless holiday fun, then your whole concept of being in a relationship is questionable. Holidays should be spent excited for the reunion, not sat gloomily wondering whether he or she has got with anyone yet.

So avoid any unneccessary upset and try to make it work over the summer – you never know, this could be the one.