Textual Etiquette

Basically boys, we don’t get it.

Picture the scene for a moment: dinner in a nice restaurant, a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, near-hysterical laughter (minimal drunken idiocy from both sides) and exchange of hilarious tales. It doesn’t end there. Drinks follow dinner, and coffee follows drinks. And it is just coffee, but a nice end to a sweet and generally wonderful evening none the less. So off he trots up the drive way, having parted with a kiss and having shared many throughout the night.

And then..? Nothing. Not that night. Nor the next morning. Not a sneaky voicemail and certainly no text. And so it begins.

What did I do wrong? Was I not funny/pretty/nice enough for him? Maybe I was expected to sleep with him there and then? (Surely not…) He doesn’t like me. Should I text him?? “God forbid,” Your friends are already shouting from the kitchen. And so we’re left in this state of mental disposition going out of our minds fruitlessly searching for reasons as to why no text has been received. It goes so long, that you start to fear you have been genuinely forgotten. 4 days later.

The previous 3 days phone vibrations have been heart stoppingly terrifying/exciting but to a heart breaking no avail. This is to such an extent that you have almost forgotten to go crazy at your generic Samsung ring tone that every Samsung owner chooses (for some mystical reason). This time you unlock the keypad to see… “Boy from Saturday Night’s name.” Not only is there a text, but it is above average and suggesting of the next meet up. Hang on just one minute. What the hell have the last four days been about? When will this ridiculousness end boys?!