Cupid Cashes In

It’s February, the winter is dulling the sky and the cold is whistling through the trees, ‘I want what every girl from ages 13 to 40 wants: a nice beautiful romance’. But should romance come at a cost? £5 plus for 3cm by 5cm cards, overpriced red roses that go on sale the minute that the night creeps in along with Tesco’s finest husbands that once again forget to buy their wives flowers that morning and dinner dining, where every food item is pink and red and well to be frank, sickly.

This may sound like one of those obvious, I’ve been single on too many valentines to appreciate this western, couples indulgent, consumer driven holiday, but in all honesty approaching my first couples valentines in years I look forward to going out for dinner the day before where the menu hasn’t doubled by a tenner per course and I won’t have to forgo a scene like that of Carrie and Miranda in the Sex in the City movie, surrounded by love heart balloons and festive love cheer! Out for dinner on the 13th – unlucky? I say not, no opportunity for disappointment and no wasted cash!

Valentines is a celebration of love that usually results in nine out of ten people feeling miserable. If you are single, your heart’s breaking over the lost love of your life or suffering through unrequited love, then who needs to be reminded that, out in this cruel world, others have found each other. If you’re in a relationship and one of you forgets the sacred holiday what does that mean? They don’t love you enough to remember or is it just a pointless expensive waste of time and underwear that your better half is clearly avoiding? It’s a holiday of pressures worrying about whether it’s going to be perfect, romantic and swept away like the old black and white movies… But I ask why can’t the man that loves you buy you flowers when he feels like it to show you he cares, isn’t that nicer than society telling him he has too because that’s what she’ll expect? I’m not saying don’t acknowledge the holiday, I’m just saying don’t go out on a date on the grounds that you don’t want to be ‘alone on valentines.’ Perhaps take it for what it is, another day, an excuse for your mum to send you her yearly card with the ‘did you get one this year?’ – Yes Mum thanks.

If he proposes on Valentine’s Day then it’s a cop out- he lacks imagination, ‘when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible,’ – NOT because that’s the ‘romantic’ thing to do for valentines! And for heaven’s sake, really, why would Valentine’s Day be anyone’s excuse to have sex!? Look pretty and have sex sure, but don’t you think sharing the love is pretty necessary all the time?! However, if he or she has waited all year for an excuse to ask you out because they’re too cute and shy to do so in normal fashion, then perhaps the v-day act is forgivable.

Last year I watched my version of adult porno – six nations rugby, didn’t understand much just appreciated the game and tight tops! My fellow single housemate and I later drank the perfect ‘one glass in a bottle’ measure of wine each and later made a romantic trip to Sommerfield to buy chocolate puddings. As the night proceeded we watched a Rom-Com because that’s what you are meant to do on valentines and it was in all honesty quite lovely. My housemate was the best Valentine’s date I’ve ever had.

But this Valentines will I be ‘just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her’ – it might work in the movies but this is the UK so probably not. It is more likely I’ll eat too much dessert the night before and still be in a food coma come the 14th! Realistically the average male brain doesn’t stretch any further than the cliché and to be quite honest- along with sexy lingerie- neither does the woman’s. If you’re sad about the holiday think how poor those in relationships are at the end of it, if he forgets you have ammunition for the next six months and if she ‘forgets’ she would have been offended by any romantic gestures anyway. If you are chose to celebrate, I ask unless you want to line Clinton cards pockets, be original and make your own, make a nice cup of tea in front of Bridget Jones and roll on the 15th.