19:30: Well you can’t win them all can you? Coventry take the equestrian, whilst we’re yet to hear of the snowsports result. But we won the golf, volleyball and, of course, the ultimate frisbee- and we’re now very close to wrapping up the whole series. We’re going to be back on Friday for the fifth day of the Varsity clockwatch. Until then, goodbye!
— Varsity 2016 (@CoventryVarsity) February 4, 2015
— Varsity 2016 (@CoventryVarsity) February 4, 2015
18:30: Golf update! And… we’ve won! This is all getting rather boring now, have a word with yourselves Coventry. Anyway our golfing chaps have won 8-5, the heroes, and their captain Nick Robinson has this to say:
We’re really pleased because it was a comprehensive victory despite some tricky conditions. We’re so happy with the overall team performance and the fact that we won on both days of play.
17:05: Amazing scenes! Right, we’ll be back when we’ve heard of some more results. In the meantime, listen to this, and substitute the word ‘Saints’ for ‘Warwick’. And when you’ve finished, find yourself a dubstep remix and go again.
16:51: THE WOMEN’S VOLLEYBALL FIRST TEAM WON THEIR VARSITY 2015 FIXTURE! Yippee, wowzers, ohmygawd etc. And it was an absolute smashing, they won 3-0 overall, taking the first set 21-8, the second 21-10, and the third 21-20. And the captain of the team, Sophia, just said over the phone:
I’m really pleased with the win, it was a great game and a really good team effort! I’d like to praise the Coventry team for their defense but ultimately we proved superior and we deserve to have won.
Great stuff, the women’s first team have been one of Warwick’s strongest teams over the last few terms and they really deserve the win. The game was only a friendly, but they all sound delighted. Cor, victories in the Ultimate Frisbee AND the volleyball- what a day to be alive ‘ey.
16:35: Anyway, enough tittle tattle. This is a place of sport and glory. And, as well as the Ultimate Frisbee, four other Varsity fixtures have been played out today. Equestrian, golf, snowsports and volleyball are all being played out today, and we’ll be providing you with results as soon as we get them. We’ll also be catching up with Sophia Spadoni, captain of the women’s volleyball team, very soon.
16:30: Back in the warmth! People are still enjoying that hard-fought UF win. Just look at the levels of enthusiasm here!
— Sian Elvin (@SianElvin) February 4, 2015
— Warwick Sport (@warwicksport) October 21, 2014
15:58: Warwick have scored another to reassert their dominant dominance which they are currently using to pre-dominate a dominated Coventry team. Dominate. And that’s it! The final score is 15-2 to Warwick, and they’re Varsity champions for a third year in the row. Reaction to that result, as well as updates from other fixtures, as soon as I’m back in the warmth and can feel all four of my limbs again.
15:52: “WE WANT TWO!” the Cov fans sing. That’s really funny, fair play to them on that. Oh no- they’ve got it! 12-2 and the chant is now for three. Is there a comeback on? Can Coventry do it? Are we set for one of the biggest shocks in Varsity history? No, is the simple answer.
15:51: Coventry have scored. Bollocks. The players have gone mad and they’re all hugging one another and smiling and patting each other on the back. It’s disgusting. I hope the lad who scored remembers that he’s still a failure. His parents probably hate him- that’s not speculation but a fact.
15:48: One interesting little UF fact for you all to gorge yourselves silly on: there are no referees. Or at least, there aren’t in this game. The players have so far demonstrated an incredible restraint, playing fairly and with no funny business. If they were lesser competitors, they would have realised by now that they can go absolutely crazy and headbutt whoever the bloody hell they want- there’s no one to stop them (hint). Of course, they’re better than that level of thuggery (hint). They would never behave in such an appalling and violent manner (hint). They’re better than those nasty rugby boys, who are always punching and hitting each other (HINT HINT HINT).
15:45: The second half has started here at the International Warwick Frisbee Arena. It’s 10-0, Warwick scoring with two frisbees which were thrown fair and true. To give them their due, the Coventry fans are still singing and having a jolly good time. Unlike their team, who are having a frankly quite terrible time. Lmao, and other such phrases.
15:40: Half time and it’s 8-0 Warwick. They’ve won. We’ve won. Coventry have lost. It’s all over. There is absolutely no reason to share this video of a motivational sports speech. None whatsoever. But this is the Boar Sport Varsity clockwatch. And we don’t play by the rules *growls.
Both sides face each other at opposite sides of the pitch. The Frisbee is thrown and both charge into battle- more Waterloo than Varsity
— Tim Arstall (@TimSenna) February 4, 2015
Coventry agonisingly close to a consolation point but the Frisbee bounces off the player's hand #warwickvarsity
— Warwick Varsity (@Warwick_Varsity) February 4, 2015
15:31: The blog is just going to pause for a moment now whilst I find somewhere else to sit. I think I was perched next to a pile of dog poo.
15:30: Blimey it’s 7-0, this is a proper naughty little pasting, as Danny Dyer might say if he was into Ultimate and Frisbee. If you’ve been reading this, enthralled (don’t lie, I know you have been) then why not come and watch? It’s all going down on the Varsity Pitches, basically the field opposite the Varsity pub. It’s seriously lovely here, the sun is shining bright and warm and the grass is the greenest thing you’ve ever seen. People are walking around in a carefree manner in their shorts and vests, and just a moment ago I saw two turtle doves emerge from the thicket, pausing only briefly to make love to one another before flying their separate ways. It’s idyllic, a paradise. Join us.
15:26: The assorted Coventry crowd (of eleven) are doing that cheerleading thing when you shout out letters and spell out a word. Altogether now: “give me a f, give me a u, give me a c…”. Also, the 15.24 bash on the bonce girl is okay, I should point out, so it’s fine for us all to laugh and chortle in a good natured fashion. To be honest I’m being rather facetious, the game has actually got mildly physical, and a few people have clanged into one another or rolled about on the turf a bit. Not quite Frazier-Ali but slightly more than the mild-mannered play fight of two slightly irate toddlers.
15:24: Some girl just got hit on the bonce by the frisbee lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
15:22: AND ANOTHER! 6-0. In more exciting news, a Coventry player just proper fell over. The three assembled St. Johns paramedic people all briefly stood alert, aware to the possibility that their life saving skills may be required. But then the guy stood up, smiling, and they all recoiled in superfluousness. One day, St Johns guys. One day.
15:20: 5-0 now. Warwick are really good at this and Coventry don’t appear to be very good, really. I’m not really sure why that is, perhaps we have more open, green space to fling frisbees in here at Warwick. Although given those roadworks which have been going on about 10 years now, maybe not. For those of you reading this who aren’t that familiar with the rules of UF, imagine American Football but without the pads, tackles, physicality, cheerleaders and those massive headsets the coaches wear. Oh and with frisbees. There are frisbees involved. They’re rather important, too. Sidenote: Coventry just got into a little huddle and all shouted ‘Coventry’, in that really half-arsed sort of way ashamed parents sound like when they’ve gone to watch their disappointing children in school sport matches they’d rather not be at. Time-out called.
15:15: Oh my god what a time to re-start the blog though, Warwick have moved 4-0 up and it’s thanks to an absolute worldie. A Warwick player absolutely wellied the frisbee pretty much the entire length of the pitch and one of our attacking players caught it with a diving leap that would have made even a salmon proud. Incredible scenes.
15:10: WHAT A PALAVER! So the Ultimate Frisbee has, urm, frisbee-d/flung/whizzed off about an hour and a half late if you followed the information provided by the Varsity website. So, we’ve decided to stick with the game here and we’ll be bringing you women’s volleyball updates, rather than a full live commentary as originally planned. Wow, I felt very Sue Barker at Wimbledon writing that. Anyway the UF has started and we’re already winning 3-0 within the space of about two minutes, I shit you not.
13:15: Okay, we’re at the Varsity Pitches filming and already there’s some action. Coventry have turned up and are looking very serious in their blue kit, and they’re currently huddled together chatting tactics. Warwick are meanwhile putting their boots on. But I’m sure they’ll be getting their heads in the game soon. They’re are also three (THREE) first aiders, in case of any inadvertent frisbee to the shin action.
12:35: There’s a slight delay to the Ultimate Frisbee proceedings, so in order to keep this blog totally and wholly relevant to your meagre little life, here’s some quotes from wandering Warwick fans, on what Varsity 2015 means to them.
Cath Lyon: Varsity is the best event of the year, it’s so much fun and it really brings the whole of campus together. I’m practically weak at the knees with this Varsity fever- fetch me a flannel!
Sam Evans: Why did they name our premier sports competition after a pub? In all seriousness though, Varsity gives me a reason for living.
— CovUni Ultimate (@CovUniUltimate) February 4, 2015
12:20: Scores on the doors for you, and Warwick currently lead Varsity 2015 by 42 points to 12. Golf and Volleyball are both friendlies, but there are six points up for grabs over the equestrian, ultimate frisbee and snowsport events.
*************Big Volleyball Day Today!**************
ITS VARSITY TIME!!!!
The women's first team will be… http://t.co/C4yLKccfMA
— Warwick Volleyball (@WarwickUniVball) February 4, 2015
— Warwick Varsity (@Warwick_Varsity) February 4, 2015
12:12: Right, we’re on the move. In the meantime, hit play on this bad boy and get PUMPED. Warwick can actually move to within one point of wrapping up Varsity 2015 today, don’t forget!
12:11: I’ve been told to stop fabricating things. But all joking aside, the game this afternoon promises to be very, very good, and given the last two Varsity results in this fixture (both comprehensive 15-1 wins to Warwick) it’s time to be getting excited. The Warwick Bears are one of our most inclusive and popular clubs, and if you’re free this afternoon make sure you get down to the game to support them.
12:10: Very soon the blog will be moving to the Varsity Pitches in order to start the preparation for our Ultimate Frisbee coverage. Yup, I know what you’re thinking. What makes a game of Frisbee, Ultimate Frisbee? Well let me tell you now:
60,000 spectators, all dressed up in either Warwick or Coventry colours screaming themselves hoarse with a mixture of fright and delight. Bone crunching tackles and sickening injuries, no inch readily given in a game where broken necks aren’t rare- in fact they’re expected. And TV and press coverage you can only begin to imagine, the game this afternoon is in fact being screened live to over 100 countries, all eager to see who will will triumph in this battle of the (frisbee) titans.
12:05: What Varsity action is in store for you today? Well, the answer is more than you can shake a threatening magenta stick at. Golf got underway at half ten this morning (and you can catch live action of that on Sky, but unfortunately not the BBC/LOL TOPICAL JOKE/) whilst Equestrian- that’s the one with the horses- started at 12.00. Ultimate Frisbee starts at half one, and I’ll be providing live updates from that game, as well as trying the sport myself, along with our buddies from RaW. After that, the women’s first volleyball fixture gets underway at 15.00- and again we’ll be providing live updates as well as an exclusive interview with captain Sophia Spadoni- before the Snowsports start at 16.00. No live updates on that one because it takes place in Swadlincote which is bloody miles away.
12:00: Major headache here at Varsity clockwatch HQ. Is it day four, because this is now the fourth day the clockwatch has been up and running? Is it day six, because it’s the sixth day since Varsity started? Or should we just change the naming system completely, in recognition of this logistic problem of sphincter tightening proportions? We’re going to go with day four, in the interests of continuity, because it makes more sense given that day one, two and three all came before (click on those links go on you know you want to).