Radical honesty: taking the high road to self-esteem

As students, by now, we should all have a sense of integrity, of how much we fit in societal and cultural standards obeying its moral and ethical values. This sense of integrity is at the heart of self-esteem; the less integral we feel as a person, the lower our self-esteem. When we lie and become dishonest, not only do we construct our own reality but we also feel that our integrity as an individual is being judged and tarnished. As such, our self esteem has to suffer too. Of course, it is mainly individuals who believe their integrity is tarnished that will have their self-esteem affected most.

Sometimes we feel as if we have to hide who we truly are in order to be loved and accepted by those around us. This is damaging to our self-esteem in two ways: our sense of integrity diminishes as our dishonesty increases and also pretending to be someone you’re not sends your subconscious the message that you are not good enough.

With a diminished sense of self-importance, your self-esteem is allowed to develop. When making decisions fear of rejection and disapproval are no longer motivating factors but rather being honest and accepting of the self are. So how exactly can we become more honest and build our self-esteem?

1. Start by accepting your true self, rather than the image others want you to be

Accepting who you are and becoming that person not only increases your self-esteem but also your honesty. Not having to be the person others want you to be, you no longer require confirmation from others. Instead, those around you will accept the real you and not a fake version. They accept a person that says yes to their own needs and no to those of others. It is not selfishness but deciding that what you as an individual desire, matters.
2. Stop distorting who you are in order to make a better impression

Start embracing your uniqueness and individuality. You do not have to pretend to be someone you’re not in order to gain approval from others. Every time you say a lie for approval, you’re denying your real self the chance to shine. Believe that you are good enough and you will be.
3. Stand up for yourself when you believe you’re unfairly treated

Give yourself respect and you give yourself the chance to boost your self-esteem. If you think you are being unjustly treated, complying and going along with it only helps to reinforce a low self-esteem. Subconsciously, accepting an unfair treatment sends your brain the message that you are not good enough.

4. Get in touch with yourself- your real self

Whenever something taps in on your insecurities, tell yourself that you have a right to be honest with yourself and those around you. Don’t hide your opinions, beliefs and uncertainties. Be yourself and others will accept you this way. Also, getting in touch with yourself means you explore your good and bad sides. As a result, you become prepared to face problems in times of storm.
5. Start accepting that just like anybody else, you have flaws

“Nobody is perfect” is such a cliché, but a true one nonetheless. By ignoring and hiding your flaws, you are letting others use them as ammunition against you. If instead you take the honest route and accept that cookie baking might not be your strongest point, it empowers you in your relationships with your self-esteem. For every flaw you have, remind yourself of a quality. You will be surprised to find out that more often than not, flaws and qualities not only cancel each other out but sometimes qualities exceed flaws.

Just remember when it comes to self-esteem, honesty really is the best policy.